Lately, well for months now, I have been wondering what direction we are supposed to go. Colin has wondered that too. As we have searched for some answers we have been blessed to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. It has really been a true test of our faith and continues to be. Without searching we have found encouragement from the Lord at times when I thought I wasn't being heard. I pray a lot to find comfort in the unknown and have such a great desire to know what direction to go, which ones will be fruitful and which ones won't. I hate the thought of "spinning our wheels." I like to know what is going to happen and the sooner I can get it on the calendar the better. I know that the Lord works on his own timetable, not mine and I should be prepared for what will come or what may not. I was reading the Ensign, a magazine our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, prints monthly, and read an artical by our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. It was pieces of a "treasure map" that will help us "guide you to your eternal happiness."
1. Learn from the past.
2. Prepare for the future.
3. Live in the present.
Here is the full article if you are interested
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=f3677e6832ce8110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1Just the other night we were reading from the
Book of Mormon in the book of Alma. Colin was reading, I think, and as he read this I thought of how this scripture applied to us.
Alma 58:11 "Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our soul, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him."
I didn't mention it to Colin but at the end of the verse he stopped reading and said, "Does that sound familiar?" I didn't make the connection at first and he explained it to me and of course, he said just what I thought. I didn't feel like it was ironic but felt strongly that it was the Holy Ghost speaking to both of us together
Even though we struggle every day, waiting for an answer or direction to go we
know that God is listening. We receive this "peace to our souls" and have "great faith" that we will be "delivered" from this unknowing time in our life.
Colin has been more than diligent about searching for a residency checking out the websites often more than once a day, when time allows. We do realize that it is possible that we won't get a residency this year and have to reapply for next year so, in preparation for that Colin has begun the process of applying for his medical license. The unfortunate side to this is that it can/will take up to 12 weeks to get it. Therefore, finding a job as a doctor will be pretty difficult and internship is over the end of June which will leave us jobless and insurance-less with a baby due in August.
Despite this and some amazement from friends, we have been able, through the Spirit of the Lord, to have peace in our lives, with some anxiousness or moments of waivering faith. We are certainly not perfect. I have such hope and know that we are being watched over with our best interests in mind. The Lord has blessed us in life so far. I hope there is no reason for the blessings to cease. Thankfully He's not like that.